"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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