i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
