ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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