Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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