I just pynch a tree in the face
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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