She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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