Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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