I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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