my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's just so happy...and so naked.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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