she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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