accomplished twins. life is a go
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
