at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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