How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ugly people sure do ruin things
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
