But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
