he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
