I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
did i walk over a car last night?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
