SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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