hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
