Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize