you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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