Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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