so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
