He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
