You made me cry and you don't even care
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize