well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize