hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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