Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
