therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
