the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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