There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize