Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize