He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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