The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
