What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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