He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
