Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
