I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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