Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
