Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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