I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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