she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
