I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
