problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize