Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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