I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize