We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
