i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
