Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
