is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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