Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
