So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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