when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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