neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
