We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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