By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Terrible idea I love it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
