Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
