So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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