I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
try to milk me bitch
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