i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
